To Know God More

What is a practical way to experience “faith seeking understanding”? It is one thing to affirm the goodness of such a statement; it is another to find a way to live it out. This is especially true of those of us who write or teach theology. We must not only affirm for our students that such an attitude is worthy of emulation, but we must emulate it. There is no greater way for a student to learn than to watch his teacher live out his lessons. I teach high school Bible, and therefore, I find it best not to overcomplicate things. So, it would be, in my estimation, wise to seek in Anselm’s own writings on the subject, how he lived out “faith seeking understanding.” He does this in many ways, but the most straightforward way to see Anselm live out his motto is to see that this dictum comes to us in the context of a prayer. Anselm is not so much writing to us as he is inviting us to listen to his conversation with God. Faith, which seeks understanding, must always be sought in the prayer life of the saints. Share on X Faith, which seeks understanding, must always be sought in the prayer life of the saints. For this reason, the remainder of this column will be my feeble attempt at such a task. I will invite you, reader, into one of my prayers, as I pursue, in faith, a greater understanding of the Triune God. 

Father of heaven, unbegotten and almighty, almighty Son of God, begotten of the Father, true Light from true Light, Holy Spirit, the almighty Lord and the giver of life, where do I begin such a prayer? For fifteen years now, I have followed you. Since you called me, in faith, I have sought to seek you ever more deeply. Yet, the more I know of you, I find the less of you I comprehend. The more of yourself I understand, the more of you I know for certain, the less of you I dare to say I comprehend. Your word, the Holy Scriptures, gave to my mind’s eye, which was darkened by sin, the light I desperately needed. And yet even before I read the Scriptures, your creation spoke to me of your eternal power and divine nature. Your glories were sung in the heavens for my ears to hear. How stupid was my mind to suppress the knowledge of you, which you made so clear. But your grace is greater. Your glories were sung in the heavens for my ears to hear. How stupid was my mind to suppress the knowledge of you, which you made so clear. But your grace is greater. Share on X

When I was young in the faith, I presumed that what I knew of you was enough to say I knew you. And though by your grace, I did truly know you, that knowledge was but in its infancy, and of your majesty, I knew only a little. What is little to know of you is still greater than the greatest to know of man. I knew you the way a baby knows its mother: instinctual, real, and full of love, but not understanding. For a child to know his parents is a lifelong task, and of them we can know almost everything but their direct thoughts. Even so, such knowledge is obtained slowly, and its possession is like hindsight. A child does not truly know his parents until after he is grown and life’s experiences give way to long reflection. Of our parents, we may know the best of them, and that knowledge is a great comfort in later years, but it is still not comprehensive. Man is still an enigma to his fellow man. 

If, then, our knowledge of our closest family remains incomplete, how can we dare to presume we know You comprehensively, O Lord? How can I ever think to myself that I know enough of You? How can I ever dare to be satisfied in my knowledge of you when what I do know of you has not yet purged my mind of all desire to sin? How I long to know more of my mother and father, who have long since passed away into your care.To you, O Lord, the Triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, giver of faith and understanding, be blessing, and honor, and glory forever and ever. Amen. Share on X

Yet You who ever lives and has never not been, I should desire to know with even greater longing. For to them and to me you gave life and breath and everything. You are Good and are the eternal source of all goodness. It is your face that I will long to see when you come again to make all things new. It will be the face of your Son, the Son of God, of whom I will never dare to avert my gaze. Even in the life everlasting, reunited with those whom I’ve lost, will be sweet, not because of our reunion, but because we will know you together. I shall see you face to face, and so shall they, and all my desires, all that I was made to be satisfied in, will be fulfilled in the light of your countenance. 

You will remain infinite, yet what I know of you will be perfect according to my nature. How grateful I am that you have brought me thus far, where I can pray this prayer to you. By your grace, let my faith continue to give way to greater understanding, and greater understanding give way to greater faith. Let my desire to know you never be satisfied on earth until my race is run and I am resting with all of your saints in the Light of lights. To you, O Lord, the Triune God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, giver of faith and understanding, be blessing, and honor, and glory forever and ever. Amen. 

Image Credit: Gary Campbell-Hall | Flickr